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Willie: You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
Lisa: No, this is good.
Willie: Well, this knave's got to carve something.

Lisa: Willie, I love your chaps.
Willie: Me pants are ripped out.

Ghost: How could you mistake him for me?
Willie: It was that sassy mouth that got you killed in the first place.

Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
Superintendent Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.

Ah only took this refereein' gig 'cause ah was cold and they gave me this shirt.

Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!

Groundskeeper Willie: I'll bring those kids back dead or alive!
Skinner: Not DEAD!
Groundskeeper Willie: Aw, you never let Willie be Willie!

You strays are going straight to the pound where you'll be put to sleep... by my boring stories. And then you'll be killed!

</i> Dogcatcher Willie

Lisa: Willie, I didn't know you were an apiarist.
Groundskeeper Willie: From context, I can tell that means beekeeper.

Principal Skinner: Willie, go into the vent and get him.
Groundskeeper Willie: What!? Have ye gone waxy in yer beester? I canna fit in the wee vent, ye croquet-playin' mint-muncher!
Principal Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Groundskeeper Willie: Ooh. Good comeback.

Groundskeeper Willie: (Speaking into a microphone) If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!
(A man whispers something into his ear.)
Groundskeeper Willie: I know it's on!

Principal Skinner: Pull, Willie, pull!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'm doin' all the pulling, you blouse-wearing poodle-walker!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 21 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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