The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Groundskeeper Willie Quotes
Groundskeeper Willie: Come on ya pansies, I've seen fiercer fights in parliament
Sideshow Mel: What is this, prime minister's question time?
Bart: Willie, I know you witnessed the most awesome prank since creation.
Willie: I'll nay speak to you of those dark times, Bart Simpson.
Bart: But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got.
(While hearing Lisa's bad saxophone playing) Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.
Willie: I'll have to use explosives.
Bart: Explosives? Great! [takes out map] If we put charges on the load bearing walls, we can blow up detention hall, leaving art class okay.
Willie: Hmm?
Bart: What! I like art, okay?
Willie: I'm blowing up the stump, not the school.
Bart: Right right, you never saw that.
Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!
Ahhh Wolfie, don't feel bad for losin'. I been wreslin' wolves since you were at your mother's teat.
I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now.
Groundskeeper Willie:(Singing) When you're alone, and life is getting you lonely, ye can always go, ACK! Doontoon.
Apu: Next
My mule wouldn't walk in the mud. So I had to put seventeen bullets in him.
Principal Skinner: Pull, Willie, pull!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'm doin' all the pulling, you blouse-wearing poodle-walker!
Groundskeeper Willie: (Speaking into a microphone) If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!
(A man whispers something into his ear.)
Groundskeeper Willie: I know it's on!
Principal Skinner: Willie, go into the vent and get him.
Groundskeeper Willie: What!? Have ye gone waxy in yer beester? I canna fit in the wee vent, ye croquet-playin' mint-muncher!
Principal Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Groundskeeper Willie: Ooh. Good comeback.
