Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
Haley: Ok.

If it were easy, everyone would be hot.

Yes I'm a huge dork for celebrating my 21st with my family, but my mom was crazy excited to go to a bar with me, or just go to a bar.

Claire: Who's Victor? We never heard about him.
Haley: Oh because I knew you'd never let me go out with an ex con.

Haley: Did anyone see my leopard print skirt?
Phil: I saw a leopard headband on the stairs.
Haley: That's it.

Sexy people go crazy too you know. Read a people magazine.

Oh relax, I'm sure you guys will find a couple that wants to get with you.

Claire: Haley I need the wifi corner get down.
Haley: Ugh! I need Instagram to know there's still beauty in the world!

With great hotness comes great responsibility.

Luke: Move!
Haley: You have plenty of room!
Luke: No, move out. You're 40!

Wait is fire weather?

Haley: I was conceived at a Duran Duran concert?!
Alex: Classy start to a classy life.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said