Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Haley: Lily what did I just say?
Lily: I don't know, something about shoes probably.

This country's number one export is hot surfers. I'm not gonna buy the first one I see, I'm still browsing.

I've been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company.

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.

Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with my parents. Plus also I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was in no mood. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night.

Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

Okay that's a lot of mirror looking and that's me saying that.

Alex: Am I just going to nitpick everyone until they leave me?
Haley: Hey mom found somebody!

When I wake up in my own room tomorrow I’ll be giving thanks for my independence and isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Haley: You’re like that guy from the movie who wishes he was never born.
Alex: It’s a Wonderful Life.
Haley: You say that but do you mean it?

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 100 in total