Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

Okay that's a lot of mirror looking and that's me saying that.

Alex: Am I just going to nitpick everyone until they leave me?
Haley: Hey mom found somebody!

When I wake up in my own room tomorrow I’ll be giving thanks for my independence and isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Haley: You’re like that guy from the movie who wishes he was never born.
Alex: It’s a Wonderful Life.
Haley: You say that but do you mean it?

Haley: I’m Alex, who are you?
Andy: I’m their manny.
Haley: Nice try, I know their Manny and you look nothing like him.
Andy: Ohhh, you’re Haley.

You're hair looks amazing, like you just got off a horse.

Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

Haley: Look I need more sleep than you and ever since they cut down that stupid prune tree the sun has been right in my eyes every morning.
Alex: It's not a prune tree, they pruned the tree.

Alex: It's junior year, I have to get good grades. Don't you know how competitive it is out there? Stop pressuring me!
Haley: You know, this is what happens to kids when they're not sexually active.

Alex: She said I was just like her.
Haley: Was she weirdly competitive

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy