Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Haley: Look I need more sleep than you and ever since they cut down that stupid prune tree the sun has been right in my eyes every morning.
Alex: It's not a prune tree, they pruned the tree.

Alex: It's junior year, I have to get good grades. Don't you know how competitive it is out there? Stop pressuring me!
Haley: You know, this is what happens to kids when they're not sexually active.

Alex: She said I was just like her.
Haley: Was she weirdly competitive

Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Phil: How low can you go?
Haley: I'm at a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win!

Haley: Okay so after a quick scan of his facebook, twitter, tumblr, pinterest and instagram, this is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

Haley: Went to college at a place called MIT.
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

Haley: Dad tried to fix all our problems and instead ruined all our lives.
Alex: Nightmare.
Claire: You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?

Haley: You used to be fun.
Phil: You used to be....what? Oh yeah, at college.

Alex: Hey are you sure you don't wanna play The Hunger Games with all of us?
Haley: My whole life is a hunger game, why do you think I'm so mean to you?

I know how awesome college is, that's how I got kicked out.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 96 in total
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