Compassion is for charity, not for childrearing.

Paige

Stanley says he can prove it.

Thanks for handling the Van Dyke thing. You done good.

Boris: Any questions?
Hank: Probably none you would answer.

Evan: Did you get a DUI? Are you under house arrest?
Hank: NO...

Evan: I need an Evan
Hank: So hire an Evan
Evan: I think Paige wants to be my Evan.

They just asked questions that I have no answers to.

Hank [to Evan]: I'm so impressed by what you do. I am so proud to be your partner, and you brother.
Evan: I think I really needed to hear that.

If I am going to work with you, and I need to know whether or not it's going to put me in the middle of something I don't believe in.

I now you're already dead, but just in case.

Hank: It's locked.
Evan: Do NOT be messing with me.

Hank: He's a real life zombie......that dabbles in cannibalism.
Evan: How do you DABBLE IN cannibalism, with a spoon?

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan