Brock: Someone is in my car!
Hank: Now that's a super power. He can do that from 10 states away.

Al, quit eyeballing the Nancy, we are on a case.

Hank: Not the hat.
Nikki: Why is that you're lucky hat?
Hank: I don't know yet, ask me in the morning.

What was it like? Like naked skydiving into a mountain of warm whip cream.

Sgt. Hatred: Don't you think we should let your old men go?
Hank: Soon, I'm still waiting for his random checks to clear.

Brock: Back to the high-n-tight huh?
Hank: Yeah, I feel like the Jewish guy who lost all his powers when they cut all his hair off.
Brock: Samson?
Hank: Lenny Kravitz.

Hank: I want to join up with you guys.
Col. Hunter Gathers: Well, my boot wants to join up with your ass, and I'm about to give them a shotgun wedding. Now beat it!

Hank: I am not going to College!
Dr. Venture: Darn tootin' your not. Now get back in that bed until you graduate.

Dean: I think we just graduated
Hank: We did? Does that mean we can finally ditch these nerd pods and get bunk beds?

Brock: What color is my tongue?
Hank: Wednesday. Maybe a light Wednesday.

Hank: When our daddy dies, are you guys prepared to adopt us?
Hunter Gathers: No, but I'd consider an extremely late-term abortion.

I'm out of gun food.

Venture Bros. Quotes

Hank: You are not the boss of me
Sgt Hatred: Au contraire, I am tony danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you

Hank: Is it just me or does every Nazi want to clone Hitler? It's like the only they think about
Srgt. Hatred: It seems that way, right. I guess when everyone hates you, you just fixate on making rotten Hitlers