Popular Hermes Quotes
Amy: Hey, look at Nibbler!
Hermes: Aww, he's holding a spoon.
Zoidberg: He's so talented!
Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. Which ones are new?
Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.
Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.
Bender: I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.
Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course. Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news. You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!
Leela: What's the mission?
Farnsworth: It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.
Fry: DOOP? What's that?
Farnsworth: It's similar to the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Fry: Uh...
Hermes: Or like the Federation from your Star Trek programme.
Fry: Oh!
Sweet manatee of Galilee!
Zoidberg: Amy, this is for you. A set of combs for your beautiful hair.
Amy: Oh, that's so sweet. But I sold my hair to a wigmaker so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes.
Hermes: Oh, the irony. I sold my hair so I could buy this third set of combs for Zoidberg.
Leela: It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Hermes: I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.
Amy: Where are you going, Bender?
Bender: To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
Hermes: Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable.
Bender: I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Fry: Whose blood?
Bender: Some guy's.
Farnsworth: You should be ashamed of yourself, Fry. You'd have to be blind not to notice that Leela's a cyclops.
Hermes: Fry's over there, man.
Fry: This dumb holiday just makes me think of all the things I left behind. Let's just stop talking about Xmas.
Hermes: Happy Xmas, Xmas people! Xmas cards have arrived! Xmas! Amy, there you go. Fry, Professor, Zoidberg, a mighty haul for Bender.
Bender: Yes! I got the most! I win Xmas!
Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab, a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders.
Fry: Yup, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.
Sweet lion of Zion!
Hermes: OK, Captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
Leela (reading): Death by airlock failure.
Hermes: Mm.
Leela: Death by brain parasite.
Hermes: Yeah.
Leela: Death by sonic diarrhoea?
Hermes: Oh, you don't want that!
Leela: Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible.
Hermes: Sign the paper.
