Popular Hermes Quotes
Fry: Maybe he has a parasite.
Hermes: Maybe he is a parasite!
Hermes: Take a rage dump, man. He's no worse than Bender.
Fry: He's much worse. He drinks and smokes and he posts naked pictures of me on the Internet.
Amy: That's Bender, alright.
Fry: I'm talking about Flexo.
Farnsworth: Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you, this is Flexo.
Hermes: Sweet llamas of the Bahamas! Except for that stylish beard, he looks just like Bender!
Flexo: No duh, dreadlock, we're both bending units.
Hermes: On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.
Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes: Just walk around not wearing a helmet.
Amy: So how was the Spleef Nebula?
Hermes: The flight had a stopover on the Brain Slug Planet. Hermes liked it so much he decided to stay of his own free will.
Fry: Hermes has all the fun. Wait a second! He's got a Brain Slug on his head!
Leela: Shh! You're gonna get us all assimilated!
Amy: Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.
Hermes: Get ready for fun, Fry. Nowadays, we have a type of game played entirely on video.
Leela: We call it a "video game".
Fry: Uh, "video game" you say? Well, golly gee, you mighty spacemen of the future will have to show me how it works.
Farnsworth: Well, it looks like I'll be needing my heroic bureaucrat back. At severely-reduced pay, of course.
LaBarbara: It's better than nothing.
Fry: What about me? Can I come back at severely-reduced pay?
Hermes: You got it, mon! In fact, severely-reduced pay all around!
Amy: That's OK, Hermes. At least we have you back.
Morgan: Not yet you don't. I'm still acting bureaucrat of Planet Express. And I have some changes to make. First, Fry, you're fired. Second-
Hermes: Not so fast! While I was sorting I came upon a certain document filed by one Morgan Proctor. Form B: Notification of Romantic Entanglement.
Fry: That's right, she fraternised me!
Morgan: That form isn't about you. It refers to my high school prom date. It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment.
Hermes: Yes, but you only stamped it four times!
Morgan: No! No! I was young and reckless.
Leela: But how did you know we were here?
Hermes: Dr. Zoidberg brought us.
Zoidberg: It was me! I'm the hero!
Hermes: No, I want to live. Organising that forced-labour spa rekindled my lifelong love of bureaucracy.
LaBarbara: My Hermes got that hellhole running so efficiently that all the physical labour is now done by a single Australian man.
Morgan: I'm afraid he's lost in the master in pile, and it would take some sort of giant, mechanical, atomic-powered sorting machine to find him.
Hermes: You rang?
Farnsworth: Damnit, Hermes, just jump already. Stop hogging that healthy liver.
Hermes: OK, Captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
Leela (reading): Death by airlock failure.
Hermes: Mm.
Leela: Death by brain parasite.
Hermes: Yeah.
Leela: Death by sonic diarrhoea?
Hermes: Oh, you don't want that!
Leela: Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible.
Hermes: Sign the paper.
