Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab, a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders.
Fry: Yup, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.

Fry: This dumb holiday just makes me think of all the things I left behind. Let's just stop talking about Xmas.
Hermes: Happy Xmas, Xmas people! Xmas cards have arrived! Xmas! Amy, there you go. Fry, Professor, Zoidberg, a mighty haul for Bender.
Bender: Yes! I got the most! I win Xmas!

Farnsworth: You should be ashamed of yourself, Fry. You'd have to be blind not to notice that Leela's a cyclops.
Hermes: Fry's over there, man.

Amy: Where are you going, Bender?
Bender: To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
Hermes: Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable.
Bender: I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Fry: Whose blood?
Bender: Some guy's.

Leela: It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Hermes: I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.

Sweet manatee of Galilee!

Leela: What's the mission?
Farnsworth: It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.
Fry: DOOP? What's that?
Farnsworth: It's similar to the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Fry: Uh...
Hermes: Or like the Federation from your Star Trek programme.
Fry: Oh!

Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. Which ones are new?
Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.
Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.
Bender: I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.
Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course. Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news. You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!

Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
Bender: My God! I'm overcome with... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Zoidberg: That's me, baby!
Farnsworth: Hmm.
Bender: Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.
Amy: Uh... that's me.
Fry: Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy: Bingo!
Hermes: That's Leela!

Amy: Hey, look at Nibbler!
Hermes: Aww, he's holding a spoon.
Zoidberg: He's so talented!

Professor: We've been hired to make our 100th building delivery!
Hermes: That's nearly ten per year.

Hermes: Push harder, Bender.
Bender: I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner.

Futurama Quotes

Singer: Call Robo-Rooter when you flush your towel.
Plumber-bot: And we can also help with an impacted bowel!

Little: Hello and welcome to a remarkable championship bout. Destructor, a robotic armoured tank, whose very use at battle has been ruled a war crime, versus Gender Bender, who wears a pink tutu. This is Rich Little, imitating Howard Cosell, here at ringside with George Foreman. George, a word in edgewise?
Foreman: This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. M-My memory's not what it used to be but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.
Little: Interesting, if true. The Vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1000-0; a bet of $0 on Bender pays $1000 if he wins. Still, very few takers.
Foreman: It's not-not a smart bet.