The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Bart: (reading cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.
(Homer wants to keep Hans Moleman as a replacement for Bart.)
Homer: (Kisses Moleman's head.) It's like kissing a peanut.
Marge: Homer, I want that thing out of my house.
I only have two questions... how much and give it to me.
Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.
(Homer hits a steel deer statue with his car)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
(Sinking in a tar pit) Nah, that's ok. I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out, then I'll pull my arms out with my teeth.
Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down, son.
Heh, heh. Shazzam.
Homer: Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things... like love!
Marge: Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows (slowing down) but they'll save us 4% on our heating bill...
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.
Marge: I really think this is a bad idea.
Homer: Marge, I agree with you, in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
