Homer [about Marge and Ned having an affair]: My wife and my worst friend. Could it be?• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Marge: The most intimate evening we spent this week was when I was ironing your shirts
Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lenny: I'm gonna miss ted, he was a good supervisor
Carl: Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched out late
Homer: And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine...mmm... beer
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Homer: Marge, can you still love a man that's half beer?
Marge: I always have
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Homer Simpson: Lighten up ladies, it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Homer [to Marge]: Of all the crazy things I've ever done, this is the craziest and you're doing it!
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Homer [to Bart]: I know we saw awesome beatdowns tonight, but remember don't try this at home. Do it at the school yard, someplace where if you get hurt, we can sue. And not just them, but the school, the county, the state and that jackass Joe Biden
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lyle McCarthy: I'm going to teach you healthy alternatives to eating. We don't have much time, so we'll do it to a montage to the song, "Eye of the Tiger"
Homer: Aww, that song is a little on the nose. Can we do it to David Bowie's "Heroes?"
Lyle: Eh, it's your montage
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Studio Exec: Homer, we have a problem
Homer: Fine, I'll give back the Oscars i stole from the lobby. Do you want back the golden globe?
Studio Lady: Noo, nooo
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?
• Show: The Simpsons • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 10
