[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

I'm looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Holding up one finger to get someone to be quiet? He invented that ... Geiss also invented the abrupt conversational segue. Okay, talk about your thing now.

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.