Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.

I'm looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, poor baby. Can't hack it in the big city? Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.

Jenna

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz