Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.

I'm looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

30 Rock Quotes

Why did you have to offend the gay community? It is the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks.

Liz

Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Liz: That is solid.