Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.

I'm looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, oh Ken ... we may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.

Tracy

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz