Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

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