Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

[on NBC spending] Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn't not happen.

[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.

Liz: Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy.
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever heard.

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Don't worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.

I'm looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Oh, I'm not worried because I have something the other actors don't.
Liz: Don't say your sexuality.
Jenna: My sexuality.
Liz: Oh, god, Jenna! When has that ever worked?
Jenna: When has it not worked?!

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?