Popular Jack Donaghy Quotes
Jack: Banks is no slouch. He pioneered the concept of ten-second Internet sitcoms.
[cut to computer]
Theme: Makin' it happen!
[husband walks in door]
Husband: Honey, I'm home!
Wife: [sarcastic] Oh, great!
Theme: We made it!
[credits roll]
Jack: Hey, Devin, you'd better watch out. Kenneth may take your job one day.
Devon: Or your job, Jack.
Kenneth: [points at janitor] Or his job!
[Jack and Devon stare in silence]
Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.
Tracy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: The Game?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: T.I.?
Tracy: It not happenin.
Jack: Super head?
Tracy: No can do.
Jack: Fabolous?
Tracy: Wont do.
Jack: Redonkeykong?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: MC Skat Kat?
Tracy: What?
Jack: HoMONKulus?
Tracy: Uh-uh.
Jack: Raw Dog?
Tracy: Hell no! Me an his beef go way back. We were both on cast members on Nickelodeon show called "Ray-Ray's Garage."
Jack: Don't be ridiculous.
Ridikolus: I am Ridikolus.
Ridikolus: What color plane are you want to buy?
Jack: Clear... like Wonder Woman's.
Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan's urine after a hefty portion of asparagus."
Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.
This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she's a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.
Jack: Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Liz: No, Jack. I don't want to learn about negotiation. I just want Josh to stay. The show needs him.
Jack: Lesson number one: you don't need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.
[to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.
Jack
