Popular Jan Levinson Quotes
Jan: Don't panic.
Michael: Uh, This is excellent. Although alarm bells are kind of going "Ringy Dingy Dingy!"
Jan: This does however mean that there's going to be downsizing.
Michael: Me no wanna hear that, Jan. Because downsizing is a bitch. It is a real bitch. And I wouldn't, uh, wish that on Josh's men. I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men. Or women, present company excluded. Sorry. Uh, Is Josh concerned about downsizing, himself? Not downsizing himself, but is he concerned about downsizing?
Jan: Well, uh...
Michael: OK. Let's do this thing. Wish us luck.
Dwight: Good luck, Michael! Good luck, Jan!
Jan: Thank you.
Michael: Kiss ass.
Michael: Here's the thing. Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens. Small Business Man Magazine.
Jan: It said that?
Michael: It will. I sent it in. Letter to the editor.
Jan: Do you always shut down the entire office when you leave for an hour?
Michael: No. No, that would not be efficient... Actually, they just don't get a lot of work done when I'm not here... That's not true. I know how to delegate. And they do more work when I'm not here... Not more... the same amount of work is done whether I am here or not.
Jan: I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Michael: Been thinking about you.
Michael: It's nice to see you.
Jan: Nice to see you too, Michael.
Michael: Really?
Jan: Not like that.
Jan: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then?
Michael: Oh, no no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like "Wam bam, thank you ma'am." But I do say "Thank you ma'am." Not like "Wam bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "Wam bam..." If it's consensual.
Michael: Can I ask you a question?
Jan: No.
Michael: This is a business question. It's nothing personal. I promise.
Jan: Fine.
Michael: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you're wearing it at the office. And, it's ... I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy.
Jan: Please don't smell me, Michael.
Michael: I just have a few things I want to say.
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael: Just hear me out. What is more important than quality? Equality. Now, studies show that today's woman, the "Ally McBeal woman" as I call her, is at a crossroads.
Jan: Michael...
Michael: No, just - you have come a long way, baby! But I just wanna keep it within reason. They did this up in Albany, and they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.
Jan: Now you're really not allowed in this session.
Michael: Well, I'm their boss.
Jan: I'm your boss.
Jan: I don't know what you're doing here, Michael, but it's very disruptive.
Michael: Just having a little "Guys in the Workplace" thing. [to the men] Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?
Jan: Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael?
Jan: All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?
Michael: Ummmm... Me no get an agenda.
Jan: I'm sorry - wait, I'm sorry?
