Popular Jan Levinson Quotes
Jan: Surely you aren't serious about this, Michael.
Michael: Of course I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley.
Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. Well, I mean, I guess I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Um, the new CFO is judging me on this too. And, well, it is Michael. So... yeah, I'm very nervous.
Jan
Jan: You know, it's amazing to me that in this day and age you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation.
Michael: I watch The L Word... Okay? I watch Queer as (bleep).
Jan: That's not what it's called.
Jan: I guess I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well, maybe next time, you will... estimate me.
Jan. I can't be on top of you 24 hours a day, Michael.
Do I have to hire a babysitter for you, Michael? Some little 14 year old girl whose job it is to limit...
Jan
Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically?
Michael: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost ... watching the movie.
Jan: No.
Jan: So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck.
Michael: Oh-kay, let me see if I have his cell. Is this the only reason you are calling Jan or does somebody miss me?
Jan: Michael, Ed died over the weekend.
Michael: Oh, wow.
Jan: I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.
Michael: I don't understand.
Jan: The board voted last night to close your branch.
Michael: On whose authority?
Jan: The board's.
Jan: A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.
Michael: Am I a small number person or a severance package person?
Jan: Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet... but you're a severance package person.
Jan: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.
Michael: Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe?
Jan: All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?
Michael: Ummmm... Me no get an agenda.
Jan: I'm sorry - wait, I'm sorry?
