I'm seeing you in a whole new light too. The kind of light they use when you try on a bathing suit. Which is a very unflattering light sir. Not good!

Jane: Penny's happy so as her friend you should-
Max: - Probably be trying to break her and Pete up? Yeah I just don't know if that seems like me.

Max: Hello this is not a foursome, you guys are totally fifth wheeling me!
Dave: C'mon man we're not fifth wheeling you, Joey Fatone.
Brad: Yeah you're still part of the group Sporty Spice.
Jane: You're our favorite character Roz from Frasier.

Jane: A summer birthday really matches my easy breezy vibe.
Dave: Easy breezy vibe? I thought you had more of a dead of winter, girl with the dragon tattoo, Sarsgaard Murderhouse vibe.

Happy birthday Jane...and Jesus.

I took control of my destiny. I changed my birthday. I am Queens Boulevard.

I don't know why I'm surprised, I once saw you put sunscreen on a grape because you didn't want it to become a raisin.

Silly Alex, wins are for winners.

Alex: Hello Jane.
Jane: Hello Newman.

Anyway you're only as good as your weakest link. I'm talking about Yipsy Kay Ay Mother failure over there.

Max, you do not have disposable income when you owe us $11,000 and three cats.

Brad: It's going to be an awesome night!
Jane: We're not going to have a three way.
Brad: It's going to be pretty good night...

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."

Penny