Silly Alex, wins are for winners.

I don't know why I'm surprised, I once saw you put sunscreen on a grape because you didn't want it to become a raisin.

I took control of my destiny. I changed my birthday. I am Queens Boulevard.

Happy birthday Jane...and Jesus.

Jane: A summer birthday really matches my easy breezy vibe.
Dave: Easy breezy vibe? I thought you had more of a dead of winter, girl with the dragon tattoo, Sarsgaard Murderhouse vibe.

Max: Hello this is not a foursome, you guys are totally fifth wheeling me!
Dave: C'mon man we're not fifth wheeling you, Joey Fatone.
Brad: Yeah you're still part of the group Sporty Spice.
Jane: You're our favorite character Roz from Frasier.

Jane: Penny's happy so as her friend you should-
Max: - Probably be trying to break her and Pete up? Yeah I just don't know if that seems like me.

I'm seeing you in a whole new light too. The kind of light they use when you try on a bathing suit. Which is a very unflattering light sir. Not good!

So you and the guys wanna go check out some porno? Get some eyes on some thighs? Some peepers on some creepers? Some rods and cones on some bras and thongs?

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