Max: If that season had aired, I would've been the first openly gay person on television.
Jane: Except for Ellen, Rosie, all the career high guys.
Penny: Oh and Norman Korpi from the Real World season one.
Max: Deep cut.

Dave: You guys wouldn't understand, neither of your ancestors were at the first Thanksgiving
Jane: Ok, neither were the Navajo.
Dave: One of our many snubs.

Look at that man move. This is some good material for the buzz-bank.

You know I always thought I'd marry a Jewish guy, until I met this chocolate anaconda.

Jane: So Max is a Bar Mitzvah MC now...
Penny: I think they prefer to be called Bart Mitzvah hype guys.

Oh my Kaiser Soze!

Jane: You create your own destiny, like Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.
Penny: Oh I love those books, you read them too?
Jane: No those books are for nerds, but I knew it'd get your attention.

Jane: Wait, the not looking me in the eyes, the nervous tick in your boob.
Brad: That thing's jumpin like Kris Kross.

We were spending 5 grand a month on of the month clubs.

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