Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Gloria: Manny's first girlfriend is a senior with a Mustang.
Jay: I'd have put my money on a sophomore with a mustache.

Said it since day one. The only thing coordinated about this kid is his outfits.

Stress is all a part of football. If you're not throwing up in your mouth, you're not doing it right.

That's the fourth Hawaiian shirt he's lost. I'm telling you this is a Dateline story waiting to happen!

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world. Never hand people another reason to make fun of you.

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

It's a good time to tell you I dropped Luke on his head when he was one.

Mitchell: This is how Cam's dad sees me, like some fawning damsel.
Jay: If anything, Cam's the damsel.
Mitchell: Dad! Thanks.

Back in Vietnam I had Hepatitis, still managed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for 300 soldiers. I think I can handle sauce.

Mitchell: You sound just like the kid who bullied me into smoking my first cigarette.
Claire: Maybe this time you won't tell on me.

Wait they're allowed up there? They're wearing dungarees!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 194 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
× Close Ad