Modern Family

Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

Latest Review

Me? Jealous?
"Me? Jealous?"

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Upcoming Episode

Aunt Mommy
"Aunt Mommy"

Wed, February 15

Jay Pritchett Quotes

Season 3, Episode 12: "Egg Drop"
Jay [to Claire]: You came out of the womb like that. I'm not entirely sure there wasn't a twin in there that you bumped off.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jay: Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 11: "Lifetime Supply"
Jay: This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this!!!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 10: "Express Christmas"
Jay: Hey what do you say we cut our losses? Let's go out to a nice Chinese restaurant and have a traditional Jewish Christmas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jay [to Claire and Mitchell]: You two needed time with your mom, I've already served time with your mom.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 9: "Punkin Chunkin"
Jay: If you told him the truth he'd thank you later.
Gloria: Like Claire and Mitch, did they thank you?
Jay: Not yet, but it's coming.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 8: "After the Fire"
Jay: The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jay [to Cam]: I can't take another farm story.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 6: "Go Bullfrogs!"
Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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Total Quotes: 119
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