Popular Jeff Winger Quotes
Dean: What's it gonna take? A plum park space, free meals, a night of companionship, if you know what I mean?
Jeff: I'll do it for the parking space and if you promise not to tell mean what you mean
Annie: What's wrong?
Jeff: There's this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
Annie: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.
In a way all of you are right. Okay, what was I tuning out?
What makes you think I can make Senor Chang do anything if I can't convince you guys not to make me do it?
Senor Chang: Pickled bull testicle?
Jeff: Are you offering or collecting?
Annie: Are you breaking up with the group?
Jeff: If that's what you want. [walks away]
Pierce: I've been divorced seven times. Turns off your cell phones and bury all your money in the backyard.
Chang [about ex-wife]: You make no mistake about this, Winger. I pleasured that woman greatly.
Jeff: Yeah. You look like you would have to. I'm not surprised you said that.
Hey, when you go out with me, it gets crazy. That's the Winger guarantee.
Jeff [reading cookie]: You got AIDs, unless you go to the Greendale STD fair.
Annie: I wrote that.
JefF: Congratihorrible.
Jeff: Just this morning as I was shaving while listening to some Jay-Z, I was thinking about going for a gallop.
Secretary: Do you own a horse?
Jeff: Can you ever really own a horse?
Pierce: At some point a man stops looking for a place to hang his underwear and starts looking for a place to hang his hat.
Jeff: I'm sorry I was waiting for that to become inappropriate or racist.
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
