Tracy: You should be at the airport right now picking up your chili.
Jenna: Children, Tracy.
Tracy: Children? Why the hell are you still here?!?!

She's lying like a rug. Rug is an offensive term for Persians that I made up.

Jenna: Ok, start from the beginning.
Lawyer: Well the plaintiff's deposition alleges that...
Tracy: No, further back. What kind of dinosaur was your grandfather?

Liz: You are not the center of the universe, Jenna.
Jenna: I am too. I'm the moon.

Liz: Listen Jenna, I didn't mean to steal your thunder.
Jenna: My whole life is thunder.

Tehnically I am an A-Lister now, because I was on A List to date Tom Cruise.

What the H-E-double vibrators is that thing on your left hand?

Two thousand dollars Jack? I've stolen more than that from my cleaning lady's purse.

My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up after that shoot, so I called him and I was like "OJ, where are you?" And he was like, "Wait, you're alive? Then who did I kill?"

You two can talk about America all you want. But I'm not going to listen, because there's no i or me in America.

You look like that flash card they told me means sadness.

I'm gonna do to them what I did to my own ribs...take them out.

30 Rock Quotes

This is the defining thing of my life. It's not gonna be that hit-and-run!

Jenna

Dr. Leo Spaceman: I don't know how to say this: Dee-AY-buh-tees?