Jess Mariano Quotes
Emily: The roast looks perfect. Oh Jess, do you eat meat? I forgot to ask you.
Jess: I'm a carnivore.
Emily: Good, I don't see how anybody could resist meat.
Jess: That's why we have teeth.
Emily: That's how I feel.
- Permalink: The roast looks perfect. Oh Jess, do you eat meat? I forgot to a...
If a horse-drawn carriage shows up here, my throwing up will be eternal.
- Permalink: If a horse-drawn carriage shows up here, my throwing up will be ...
Clara: Is Jess your real name?
Clara: Do you like it?
Jess: It's fine.
Clara: Would you rather be named Bill?
Jess: (to Dean) Does this belong to you?
- Permalink: Is Jess your real name? Yes. Do you like it? It's fine. ...
Clara: Jess can't throw.
Jess: I can, too.
Clara: You missed every time.
Jess: I can't concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It's like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear.
- Permalink: Jess can't throw. I can, too. You missed every time. I can...
Dean: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
Jess: It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.
- Permalink: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away? It's getting a ...
Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
- Permalink: Shouldn't we say thanks first? For what? Well, that we're no...
Jimmy: When you left home, were the cops after you?
Jimmy: No cause they shouldn't be, or no cause they haven't found the head yet?
- Permalink: When you left home, were the cops after you? No. No cause th...
Clara: Yes. Will you go get me a snow cone?
Jess: Absolutely. Go stand in the middle of the street and wait for me, I'll be right back.
- Permalink: Yes. Will you go get me a snow cone? Absolutely. Go stand in t...
Jess: I need ham.
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: We got a shipment of ham yesterday!
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: Ceasar, there is a lady over there that has been saying she wants ham for the last twenty minutes and if I go back there empty-handed, there is a fifty-fifty chance that she will eat me!
Ceaser: No ham!
Jess: Then sew some bacon together because that woman is getting ham!
- Permalink: I need ham. No ham. We got a shipment of ham yesterday! No...
Rory: What are you doing here?
Jess: I moved back.
Jess: I moved back.
Jess: Just...wanted to.
(Rory kisses Jess)
Rory: Oh my God!
Rory: Don't say a word!
Rory: (turns and begins to run away then looks back) Oh! Welcome home!
- Permalink: What are you doing here? I moved back. What? I moved back....
Rory: Do they allow hot dogs in the subway?
Jess: You are such an out-of-towner!
- Permalink: Do they allow hot dogs in the subway? You are such an out-of-t...
Rory: Thank you so much for bringing me here! You know, I might just show you my withering stare in return.
Jess: I'm a lucky man.
- Permalink: Thank you so much for bringing me here! You know, I might just s...
Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.
- Permalink: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow. Ah, it's tha...
I feel like crap on toast.Michel
- Permalink: I feel like crap on toast.