Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Chandler: Oh God!
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Chandler: All right, so I'm back in high school, standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked.
Monica: Oh, I've had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of--
Chandler: That's right.
All: Never had that one.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
Joey: If I wanna get the money, I'm not allowed to conduct any personal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Monica: Joey, we always know what you mean.
Phoebe: (About Ross and Rachel) They've been quiet for a long time.
Joey: Maybe she killed him.
Joey: It was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner...
Monica: You gave her food poisoning?!
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! You threw Pepper on the fire!
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should have told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a, ah, artificial leg.
Monica: Oh, my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Joey: I ran!
Joey: All blank and no blank makes blank a blank blank. Oh, and the end, when Jack almost kills them all with that blank but in the last second they get away!
Rachel: Joey! I can't believe you just did that!
Chandler: I can't believe she cracked your code.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: I know. But it's just so hard, you know. I mean, you're sitting there with her. She has no idea what's happening. Then, you finally get up the courage to do it. There's that awkward moment when you've handed her the note. You try to run out of the restaurant before she's actually finished the note.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant, which is more than I can say about that sweater you're dating.
Joey: Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater, alright? It's what underneath her sweater that counts.
Monica: Isn't this the same Barry you left at the altar?
Joey: Duh, where have you been?
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that! I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.
Joey: No way... Mr. Salty is a sailor, right? He's gotta be, like, the toughest snack there is.
Ross: I don't know. You don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're crazy!
Chandler: (Uncomfortably, about sitting on Joey) I am so comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable ...
Chandler: All right. (Jumps up)
Face your fear. You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs, get a bug.
