Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, Ben, remember us? Okay, the mole came off.
Joey: Ah!
Ross: (About Joey's finger in his mouth) What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
I've been with my share of women... In fact, I've been with a lot of people's share of women.
Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
Joey: You gave him cookies?
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares... Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
Joey: It's like I'm able to appreciate it on another level!
Chandler: I didn't know you had another level.
Joey: Oh yeah. Go for it, man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe. I assure you if I'm ever staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much gonna be peeing every which way.
Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or... ha, ha! We could go over there and pee on them!
Joey: So, so, what'd you think?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Joey: I, I wasn't in that.
Chandler: I know.
Joey: (After the critics trash Kate's performance) Drama critics are just people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Kate: Become a drama critic.
Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.
Monica: I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Joey: I love that movie.
(Grabs boob from under Joey's head)
Monica: Here it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt, but not a mom.
