Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Rachel: So what happens next?
Joey: Well, I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins, then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half brother "Ramon" and that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big, but it's cursed.
Chandler: God, that is good TV!
Ross: (Knocking on Joey's door) Come on.
Rachel: Joey.
Ross: Open up. We want to talk to you.
Joey: I don't feel like talking.
Rachel: Oh come on Joey, we care about you.
Chandler: We're worried about you.
Monica: And some of us really have to pee.
Joey: (Showing off his new, horribly tacky apartment). Huh? So what do you think? Casa de Joey. Huh? (Proudly) I decorated it myself.
Ross: Get out.
All: No!
Joey: Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh?
Chandler: Well I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh come on! Nobody like two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better then the other and I wanna know which.
Chandler: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore are they? You took your eggs and you left! Did you really expect me never to find new eggs?
(Picks up the orange juice carton and discovers it's empty) Alright, that's it! He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny Neweggs, with his, his, his moving the mail and his, his "see ya, pals!"
Phoebe: (Looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it) Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
Joey: Thanks, yeah. I love this, but you know what? It makes me want to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, me too. Yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Monica: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Joey: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have, like, time alone with my thoughts, but, you know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, oh, the best part, come on. (Leads them to the bathroom) Huh?
Rachel: Hey, nice toilet.
Joey: No no no, behind it.
Ross: You have a phone in here?
Joey: That's right, I have a phone in here.
Monica: Joey, promise me something.
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Never call me from that phone.
Chandler: Well you know, we got to talking and, uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh, now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.
Chandler: Richard's going to the party too, huh?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to be there.
Joey: So, is today the day you gonna tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my Dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
Joey: Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last forty years.
