Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Ross: I get home, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?" I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: You got all that from saline solution?
Joey: Ross, listen. I got two words for you: Threesome.
Chandler: You still got one word left if you want to use it.
Rachel: Ross kissed me.
Phoebe: No!
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Rachel: It's unbelievable.
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Phoebe: Ok, alright we wanna hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Rachel: Ohhh it ended very well.
Monica: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!!
Phoebe: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like...was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, y'know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then...oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it...
Phoebe: Ohh, so, ok, was he like holding you or were is hands like, on your back?
Rachel: No, actually first they were--they started out on my waist... and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair...
Phoebe & Monica: Ohhh...
(Scene changes from the girls' apartment to the guys' in which they are eating pizza around the foosball table)
Ross: And then I, and then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool.
Monica: (Reading the paper) There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Joey: Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Monica: There's an ad for a naked chef?
Joey: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... (Rubs his hands together suggestively)
Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Joey: When I first met you, know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Phoebe: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended, but that's so sweet.
Joey: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea?
Phoebe: Mm... hmm.
Joey: This man is my god!
Phoebe: (About Ross kissing Julie outside the window) Ooh, Rachel, don't look.
Rachel: What? (Looks) Come on you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Joey: Woah, you have a date?
Rachel: Yeah, Monica's setting me up.
Joey: But, what about, Ross and uh...?
Rachel: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, you know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
Chandler: So you really okay about all this?
Rachel: Oh yeah, come on. I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
Phoebe: Why won't he give it up?
Joey: Maybe he drives his car on the other side of the road, if you know what I mean.
Phoebe: No. What do you mean? He's not British.
Joey: Hey Pheebs.
Phoebe: How come you're watching a rabbi play electric guitar?
Joey: I can't find the remote. (Phoebe turns off the TV) Thank you.
Joey: Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, Ben, remember us? Okay, the mole came off.
Joey: Ah!
Joey: (About flipping the coin) All right ... ducks are heads, because ducks ... have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
