Favorite Kelly Kapoor Quotes
Kelly: Cafe Disco? More like Crap-ay Disco.
Erin: You're bad.
Andy: This dance competition is not over.
Kelly: What dance competition? I was just dancin' casual with my friends, y'all.
Andy: Yeah. No. Well, ok.
Kelly: Stop squirming.
Andy: Well, stop trying to poke me with a sharp thing.
Kelly: You wanted to do this. Just be brave.
Andy: I, I - but you're not a professional and I'm thinking maybe we should have gone to a professional.
Kelly: I'm doing it. No. I'm doing it for free. You have to stop squirming otherwise I'm gonna mess up.
Andy: Are you sure that's not the "gay" ear?
Kelly: Gay ear? Are you 12 years old?
Kelly: Is Ryan going?
Pam: I don't know, he hasn't RSVP'd yet.
Kelly: Here's the deal. I really wanna go, but I'm not gonna go if Ryan doesn't go, because it's kind of a waste of time. That came out wrong. It would be awesome if you could try to get him to go, because I'd really like to be there to support Jim.
I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you're supposed to be with is the one that you've never really thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying, or possibly homosexual.
Kelly: [practicing karate] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!
[on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean I know what a four should feel like I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to hell, alright? Thanks for nothing.
Kelly: No, he's just a big fraud Deangelo. He's like Rango. He doesn't work here basically, just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. It was just a big misunderstanding.
Deangelo: Is this true Ryan?
Ryan: I did not see Rango.
Kelly: I never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight: I know, because you have no role models! How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs. Any race.
Dwight: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian... Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight: That's not... [sighs] she's... OK. Yes.
Michael: Attention please. Jan Levinson's coming very soon and so we're going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting. So you can get in your constructive compliments ASAP.
Ryan: Don't you mean "constructive criticism?"
Michael: What did I say?
Kelly: You said "constructive compliments." That doesn't make any sense.
Michael: I wanted all of you to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.
Jim: Quick question, uhh, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice?
Michael: Good question. Forrest Gump — mentally challenged, Philadelphia — AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael: I don't think so, no.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael: He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability. It still works.
Kevin: It's negative!
Michael: God... we're gonna beat this, OK? C'mere...
[later, in interview]
Michael: Well apparently in the medicine community, negative means 'good.' Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.
