Kenneth Parcell Quotes
Season 6, Episode 5: "Today You Are a Man"
Suze: How much have you saved?
Kenneth: Are you talking about saving squirrels from hawks? Zero.
• Rating: Unrated
Kenneth (to Jenna): Didn't you notice your food wasn't pre-chewed?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 6, Episode 3: "Idiots Are People Three"
Kenneth: In school, all you learn about Abraham Lincoln is that he was a gay alcoholic.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 6, Episode 2: "Idiots Are People Two"
Kenneth: I'm afraid I have bad news.
Jenna: Jenny McCarthy died? But who could have been slowly poisoning her? Was she poisoned? I have no way of knowing 'cause I'm just hearing about it.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 6, Episode 1: "Dance Like Nobody's Watching"
Kenneth: Is the sky blue? Well, until tomorrow, when it will be on fire.
• Rating: Unrated
Kenneth: I'm sorry I won't be seeing you in heaven Mr. Spurlock, but on the bright side, black hell does have a juke box.
• Rating: Unrated
Kenneth: I get to go to heaven and receive my reward: 72 virgin, margaritas. Hold the salt.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 23: "Respawn"
Kenneth: I don't like to swear sir, but no thank you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kenneth: It's an old Parcell family recipe, but I like to replace the Union soldier meat with boiled potatoes.
• Rating: Unrated
Kenneth: Every year my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas. We get it Aunt Alice. You're a sheep.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 114
