Favorite Kenneth Parcell Quotes
Kenneth: I'm afraid I have bad news.
Jenna: Jenny McCarthy died? But who could have been slowly poisoning her? Was she poisoned? I have no way of knowing 'cause I'm just hearing about it.
Kenneth: And it's real Oscar bait sir. You say things like 'You don't know my pain!' 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese!,' and in a less dramatic scene: 'I'll have hash browns.'
My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers in catalogs.
It was Harold, and I ate all of him. Even the face in case of a tie. I ate him sir! I ate my father pig!
Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects?
Kenneth: Good morning, Mr. Donaghy. I would like to speak to you on behalf of all the NBC pages.
Jack: I'll give you a New York minute. That's seven seconds.
Kenneth: Well sir, we pages and I feel that me and they are not being treated fairly as regards paychecking. I'm nervous!
Jack: We went over this yesterday, Kenneth. There simply isn't any money.
Kenneth: Excuse me, sir, but I accidentally saw your paycheck.
Jack: Well I hope it was inspirational.
[on bed bugs] Looks like you got a bad case of the chew-daddies. Ozark kisses? The woodsman's companion?
[on Boston] They're all named Sean, they're mean, and I hate it here.
Tracy: I'm just going through the classic stages of grief; fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness and now depression.
Kenneth: What about anger?
Tracy: No! I don't wanna do anger and you can't make me!
Ridikolus: Aww man you didn't just skuff these shoes. P Diddy wears these shoes.
Kenneth: Oh, will he be mad when you give them back?
Jack: You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as page just like you.
Kenneth: Really? So did I!
We lose half the congregation every time American Idol starts up.
