Kenneth Parcell Quotes
Jack: Kenneth, how much money do you have in your savings?
Kenneth: Well, let's see. [looks in coffee can] Eighty thousand dollars!
Jack: If you don't include Confederate money?
Kenneth: Four thousand dollars!
I've had to send more money home lately. There are problems on the farm. After years of inbreeding the pigs are getting violent and the pig shield around the house has worn thin.
Kenneth
Kenneth: Thank you, Mr. Jordan! This is the greatest day of my life! First, I find that quarter this morning...
Charles Robinson: Um, I lost a quarter earlier.
Kenneth: I'm glad I'm not a white man, Mr. Donaghy... Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?
Jack: You're darn right he is, Kenneth.
Kenneth: There's a whole channel on the cable that just tells you what's on the other channels!
Jack: I know, Kenneth. It's okay.
[on coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!
Kenneth
I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the Devil's temperature!
Kenneth
Jack: When I was your age, I was putting myself through college in Boston paddling swan boats for the tourists.
Kenneth: Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex worker?
Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.
Kenneth: Excuse me, Ms. Lemon, but, you're on the monitors right now, so...
Liz: Everyone in the building can see and hear me...
Kenneth: Yes.
Studio 6H is where we do The Girlie Show. Did you all see Tracy Jordan make a special appearance the other night? Wasn't that exciting!? That is what we in the show business like to call a cameo.
Tracy: I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.
Kenneth: (dreamily) Pregnant cornbread ...
