You're too charactery to be a lead, and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor.

This is a documentary? Ohhhh. I always thought we were like specimens in a human zoo.

I go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes.

Meredith: If I ever got that bad, you'd tell me right?
Kevin: Meredith I tell you all the time.

Okay, this is really hard to follow. Can we just say Pete, because that's the guy Erin's flirting with?

We're aware of what it means Oscar, you just do not look cool saying it.

Dwight: Excuse me, I have to run to my car, to take a dump.
Kevin: wish my car had a bathroom.

Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?

Kevin: He's a sweet kid Daryl, but he's not the sharpest guy in the drawer.
Pete: Kevin, I can hear you.

I don't think that you understand wheels.

I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle.

You can't eat cats, Kevin.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael