Erin: You're gonna be alright.
Kevin: No. No he's not.

You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it.

I wanna be wined, and dined, and 69ed.

Poor Andy. First you got beat up by a gang, and now she kicks your ass?

I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's gotta take off his cape.

Oscar: Please don't say anything offensive.
Kevin: Got that bimbo?
Erin: Got it bimbo.

Darryl: Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Kevin: A little bit. Yeah. Right guys? Back me up.

Erin: Angela had the baby?
Kevin: Is it black? Because that would be hilarious.

Val: Does Daryl not swim?
Kevin: That's racist!

Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air? Or was it me?

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.

I don't wanna put you out, but if someone's making oatmeal I'll take an apple-cinnamon and a maple-brown sugar in one bowl, with whole milk.

The Office Quotes

I know you're my boss, but you need to get the hell out of my face.

Ryan

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael