Erin: You're gonna be alright.
Kevin: No. No he's not.

You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it.

I wanna be wined, and dined, and 69ed.

Poor Andy. First you got beat up by a gang, and now she kicks your ass?

I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's gotta take off his cape.

Oscar: Please don't say anything offensive.
Kevin: Got that bimbo?
Erin: Got it bimbo.

Darryl: Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Kevin: A little bit. Yeah. Right guys? Back me up.

Erin: Angela had the baby?
Kevin: Is it black? Because that would be hilarious.

Val: Does Daryl not swim?
Kevin: That's racist!

Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air? Or was it me?

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.

I don't wanna put you out, but if someone's making oatmeal I'll take an apple-cinnamon and a maple-brown sugar in one bowl, with whole milk.

The Office Quotes

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.