True Blood
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOPopular Lafayette Reynolds Quotes
Lafayette: All right, all right. I is on my way. But you might got ta find your own ride home. Just in case I get lucky.
Tara: Whatchu mean if you get lucky? Your standards are so low you always get lucky
Sookie: I shouldn't have lost it like that.
Tara: Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose where it don't belong for years.
Lafayette: Say it. I mean, if she talked any more shit she'd be shaped like a toilet
Lafayette: [looking at all of the food brought by the town] What the fuck is it with white people and jello? I don't understand.
Tara: What the hell we gonna do with all this?
Lafayette: Toss it. Sookie don't need no bad juju cooking.
Tara: Bad juju?
Lafayette: Way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That shit true as gold. You put some love in your food and folk can taste it. Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness comin' off that cornbread.
Tara: Tastes just fine to me.
Lafayette: See bitch. You gonna wish you ain't did that. Watch
Sookie [describing Bill biting her]: It felt like... It felt like every single care or worry or saddness I've ever had was just flowin' out of me and into him. And, yeah it hurt at first. But when I relaxed, it didn't hurt at all.
Lafayette: I was always scared to let him bite me. I don't know, Sookie. I just think that when there's blood involved, a line been crossed.
Sookie: Oh, I definitely crossed a line and glad I did.
Lafayette: Well you go ahead on, hookah with your badass. Good for you. It ain't possible to live unless you crossin' somebody's line.
I am so happy and proud to shake the hand of someone with your values. Too often we're governed by criminals and hypocrites. Don't you agree? But I can tell you're a man of virtues and I applaud the effort you're making against the poor and disenfranchised. Especially the vampires and the gays. So many things can happen to bring down a person such as yourself. You might wanna be careful
Sookie: Tara. You look so pretty. Like someone turned on a light under your skin.
Sam: Hospital gave her pain meds. She's... she's a little loopy.
Tara: Didn't you listen when I said I'd lose my shit if anything ever happened to you?
Sookie: Don't lose your shit. I'm fine. Did Sam tell you he saved my life? He turned into a dog and bit Rene.
Lafayette: Well, shit. I'm gonna need some of them drugs they gave you.
Sam: Okay, you guys. We should let her rest.
Sookie: Sam, you should let people see the real you. Cause you're kind, brave. There's nothin there not to love.
Sam: Right back at you
Lafayette: Make me a vampire.
Eric: I beg your pardon?
Lafayette: You can put me to work in the bar...I'm a good dancer you've seen it on my site. (Eric walks around to him) Shit, I'd get up there and I'd move Earth and Heaven go-go style.
Eric: You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods.
Lafayette: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I...I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamour people already. Gimme what ya'll got...not only will I be a bad-ass vampire, but I'd be your bad-ass vampire
Tara: If you die I'm gonna be really pissed
Lafayette: That makes two of us
Bill: Tara, you are safe here. You have to do exactly as I say
Tara: I am not your fucking slave girl
Lafayette: If there ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this is it
Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that don't mean we still don't talk time to time
Lettie Mae: If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.
Lafayette [about Tara]: She don't need no backwards witch. She needs Thorazine and padded cell
Lafayette: Hey, Hookah. How you doin'? what are you doing here?
Tara: I work here.
Lafayette: Oh, no the hell you don't!
Tara: Oh, yes the hell I do too, you ugly bitch.
Lafayette: Shit. Sam must've lost his damned mind because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually have to interact with the people
