The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Leonard: Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: Oh, I hate when that happens.

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

You call that a glowstick? [Pulls out his light saber and turns it on.] That is a glowstick!

Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!

Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

[Sheldon karate chops Leonard in the shoulder]
Leonard: Ow! Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: she's not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!

Raj: The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.

Sheldon: How could you not find him?
Leonard: Because he's hard to find. If he was easy to find, the books would be called "There's Waldo."

Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago, everything about her is on you: you make it so!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 434 in total

TBBT Quotes

Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality, let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon
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