The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Penny: You are so butch.
Leonard: Oh, I got a little paper cut.
Penny: Of course you did, your hands are softer than veal.
Leonard: It's nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods.
Raj: I both hate you and want to be you. It's Ryan Gosling all over again.
Leonard: Can I tell you a secret?
Penny: What's that?
Leonard: All these women chasing me, I kinda do feel like Captain Kirk.
Penny: Can I tell you a secret?
Leonard: Sure.
Penny: Keep talking about Captain Kirk and we're all going to stop.
Leonard: Message ... received.
Leonard: I wasn't screwing around with anyone.
Raj: Of course not. She was just sniffing around your goods because she was hunting for truffles.
Oh, spoiler alert. This door's about to slam in your face.
Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.
Well, this time is going to be different because I'm a like a romance ninja. You don't see it coming and then BAM. Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ewww wah.
Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.
Leonard: Helping women?
Sheldon: Helping anyone. People should take care of themselves.
Leonard: Oh, like yesterday when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?
Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.
Leonard: Mmm, you know, we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say "dressed up" you mean nice clothes, right? Not, like, capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Although...
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.
