The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, so cute when you use the word "cool" wrong. Like when kids say "pasghetti."
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.
Sheldon: It would -- fun? Yeah, okay, three weeks ago, you brought crunchy peanut butter but now you want the girls to play D & D -- do you have a drug problem?
Leonard: What's the big deal?
Penny: This isn't alcohol. It's a potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.
Leonard: I know what you are doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.
Leonard: I didn't tell Sheldon so we could have a few days alone.
Penny: Oh, that is so romantic.
Leonard: Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
Penny: Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be?
Leonard: There-there's chapters about potty training, bed wetting and masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it!
Leonard: They weren't boobies. They were muscles. And, the make-up was green, I was pretending to be the Hulk.
Penny: You were wearing her bra.
Leonard: That was to keep my muscles from sagging!
Raj: I think it could be romantic. You know, my parents met at his place of work.
Leonard: Your father's a gynecologist.
Raj: I know. What started as a pap smear turned into a date, which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which turned into hatred which continues to this day.
Penny: Hey, how come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: Well, for starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?
Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?
