Sheldon: Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side.
Leonard: Because I can never understand your side!

We're still dating, right?

Leonard: Who you talking to?
Penny: Just this guy I met at school.
Leonard: We're still dating, right?

Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk.
Leonard: They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?"
Howard: Yeah.

She writes like she cooks.

Sheldon: Oh, ow, blueberry in my nose. Blueberry in my nose.
Leonard: Snort it down and keep eating.
Sheldon: [snorts]

Sheldon: How could you not find him?
Leonard: Because he's hard to find. If he was easy to find, the books would be called "There's Waldo."

A solar system? Uh,uh,um, unidentified flying liverwurst? I don't....

Leonard: In what universe is that a present?
Sheldon: It's not a present. It's the present. There's you and me. It's Penny and Amy. We're playing Pictionary. In the present.

It had weaponized fruit and a puppet. What more do you want?

Mmm, the nurse is a woman, so he couldn't talk to her. She had to bring him a Grover puppet so he could point at what hurt.

Leonard: The guy who seems like an emotionless robot ... is you, but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
Sheldon: That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.