Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: In what universe is that a present?
Sheldon: It's not a present. It's the present. There's you and me. It's Penny and Amy. We're playing Pictionary. In the present.
It had weaponized fruit and a puppet. What more do you want?
Mmm, the nurse is a woman, so he couldn't talk to her. She had to bring him a Grover puppet so he could point at what hurt.
Leonard: The guy who seems like an emotionless robot ... is you, but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
Sheldon: That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard.
Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. It will be fun.
Sheldon: That's what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.
Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?
Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"
And, I promise after waiting four months fast is what you are gonna get.
Penny: Why should I worry?
Leonard: Well, I don't know. It's a bachelor party, there could be strippers. Wouldn't that make you a little jealous?
Penny: Come on, Leonard, it's you. What's gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye- contact and offer to help her kid with his homework.
Leonard: Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before?
Raj: Three times. He begged the Fox network not to cancel 'Firefly.' He begged the TNT network to cancel 'Babylon 5.' And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl Parade, he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly.
That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew.