Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

When I die, you can rent a bounce house.

Leonard: I love you, but I will not marry you.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: Now about that second proposal, on the one hand...

That's two proposals in one day. Sounds like someone wants to spend the rest of her life telling people how to spell Hofstadter.

Penny: Leonard, will you marry me?
Leonard: Hmm.

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Leonard: I regret not saying "yes"when you asked me to marry you.
Penny: Well, it just wasn't the right time.
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: And this is also not the right time. Do not propose.
Leonard: What?
Penny: I know that face. That's your propose face.

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Leonard: All right. I officially reinstate Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Penny: Great! What do, what do you want to do?
Sheldon: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Penny: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Leonard: I'm starting to remember the problem with Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

Penny: So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Leonard: Okay.
Penny: But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere, except my cleavage. So, I asked
the director why and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
Leonard: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

That was Wil -- he's feeling a lot better. Apparently, he's 12-down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Penny: Okay, look, here, page 58. I oil-wrestle an orangutan
in a bikini.
Leonard: Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini?
Penny: Both of us.
Leonard: So it's a family film.

Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 425 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

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