Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: What if... what if this is the thing that would've finally let him open that bottle of champagne?
Raj: Maybe he didn't know what to pair champagne with. Strawberries, caviar, oysters. All good choices. Yeah, that look right there is why people eat before they come to your parties.
Leonard: Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success, and secondly, I didn't even want you there.
Sheldon: Wow. I don't know which hurts worse-- my nose or my heart.
Leonard: If there was an asteroid strike,wouldn't you die, too?
Sheldon: I don't know-- I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.
Leonard: Buddy, I-I get that you're worried about me and I-I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.
Sheldon: You don't know that.
Leonard: Well... I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.
Sheldon: You know who else said that? Every cocky T. Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.
Sheldon: If the surgery is successful, the snoring is gone. And if you die during surgery...the snoring is gone.
Leonard: It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
Sheldon: I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
Leonard: If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting here
staring at me like the albino boogeyman?
Sheldon: Really, Leonard-- insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?
Sheldon: But you don't have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?
Leonard: Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.
Penny: I've heard you complain about his snoring.
Sheldon: We... Yes, for the first five or six years, but I've gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.
Leonard: You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this, they make some pretty good clip-ons.
Sheldon: Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on. Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him.
Leonard: His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does.
Howard: They're not dating. They're just two friends who went out to dinner.
Raj: And then went back to the home they share where they probably fell asleep in the matching pajamas she got them because they both just love penguins.
Howard: Hey, lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
Raj: Like who?
Howard: Like you and your dog.
Leonard: Don't rule out the dating.
Leonard: Oh, hey, we ran into your mom at Benihana last night.
Howard: Uh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. That's why I don't take her to SeaWorld.
Penny: The real question is: What is he doing in your apartment?
Leonard: Oh, he was upset. So Sheldon invited him in for a hot beverage.
Penny: You were okay with that?
Leonard: No. I got upset! And Sheldon made me a hot beverage, too.
Sheldon: Hold on, Doctor. Leonard, where are your social skills?This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two, and they're having dinner with us.