Lily: Wow. A genuine Scherbatsky sighting out in nature. At this point, that's like seeing Sasquatch.
Marshall: No, Sasquatch is a warm and affectionate creature. At this point Robin's more like the yeti. Cold and aloof.

You're in your 40s and you have a playbook. That's the sad part.

Marshall: Why does he keep doing this? He meets them. He likes them way too much. He goes way too big too soon. He ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's fallen in love so many times now.
Lily: Not like this. This is different.

The three day rule is a childish, manipulative mind game. But yeah, you wait three days.

Marshall: A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower.
Lily: And I was pretty bummed too.

It helped but that was really creepy. I don't want to see you for a while.

Deuces are wild?

Marshall: We're adorable
Lily: We're Marshmallow and Lilypadad bitch!

Marshall, Blauman saved you from a lifetime of looking at Sugar Ray every time we do it on your birthday.

Lily: We're not going to Italy.
Marshall: Of course we are. Lily we have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome and you're gonna get your dream because you're giving me mine, again.

If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage? It's not like it will happen all at once, but if you keep acting this way, little by little, you're gonna lose me.

I don't need objectivity. You're my best friend, I just need your support.

HIMYM Quotes

Ted [to Stella in his dream encounter]: You picked the wrong guy.
Stella: Ted?
Ted: You picked the wrong guy. You made a really, really, really bad choice. What were you thinking? That guy? Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing in the last eight years? You're just gonna regret this. You know that, right? You are going to regret this, and now there is nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and start your crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could have had with me. Good-bye.
Stella: Ted, wait.
Ted: Look, Stella, I am not here to win you back. I am here because I need to know that you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.
Stella: I know

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney