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Lily: Wow. A genuine Scherbatsky sighting out in nature. At this point, that's like seeing Sasquatch.
Marshall: No, Sasquatch is a warm and affectionate creature. At this point Robin's more like the yeti. Cold and aloof.

You're in your 40s and you have a playbook. That's the sad part.

Marshall: Why does he keep doing this? He meets them. He likes them way too much. He goes way too big too soon. He ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's fallen in love so many times now.
Lily: Not like this. This is different.

The three day rule is a childish, manipulative mind game. But yeah, you wait three days.

Marshall: A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower.
Lily: And I was pretty bummed too.

It helped but that was really creepy. I don't want to see you for a while.

Deuces are wild?

Marshall: We're adorable
Lily: We're Marshmallow and Lilypadad bitch!

Marshall, Blauman saved you from a lifetime of looking at Sugar Ray every time we do it on your birthday.

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