Liz: Cut the B.S.
Tracy: But I promised Barbara Streisand I'd never stab her again.

You're just an alcoholic with a great voice.

They're replaceable. We can get David Alan Grier and Miss Piggy.

Liz: You two are doing press all day.
Tracy: I'm glad the band U2 is doing press all day. Jenna quick, run before Liz Lemon realizes what I did.

Jack: Through back channels...
Liz: Like BET?
Jack: BACK channels.

How big is an eight year old's head? I'm thinking like a bowling ball.

Liz: Beverly.
Bev: It's just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me.

Liz: Also, you're kind of a slut.
Jack: I did sleep with Jenna a lot during season three.

Jack: I can give you a season pass to Universal's Harry Potter World.
Liz: Ok, I am not some kind of nerdery slut. I like Star Wars!

Liz: Did you get my gift?
Jack: I assumed it was the bottle of wine with the card reading "Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish..."

Damn it! Why do I keep helping you? I'll just do anything for approval. I would have been a Nazi.

For every orphan Annie, there's a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who's just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Kenneth

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack