Liz: Cut the B.S.
Tracy: But I promised Barbara Streisand I'd never stab her again.

You're just an alcoholic with a great voice.

They're replaceable. We can get David Alan Grier and Miss Piggy.

Liz: You two are doing press all day.
Tracy: I'm glad the band U2 is doing press all day. Jenna quick, run before Liz Lemon realizes what I did.

Jack: Through back channels...
Liz: Like BET?
Jack: BACK channels.

How big is an eight year old's head? I'm thinking like a bowling ball.

Liz: Beverly.
Bev: It's just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me.

Liz: Also, you're kind of a slut.
Jack: I did sleep with Jenna a lot during season three.

Jack: I can give you a season pass to Universal's Harry Potter World.
Liz: Ok, I am not some kind of nerdery slut. I like Star Wars!

Liz: Did you get my gift?
Jack: I assumed it was the bottle of wine with the card reading "Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish..."

Damn it! Why do I keep helping you? I'll just do anything for approval. I would have been a Nazi.

For every orphan Annie, there's a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who's just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.