Liz: Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?
Jack: Oh, what now?
Liz, yelling: I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!

Tracy: Point is, I won't be at rehearsal all this week.
Liz: No, Tracy!
Tracy: Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.

Liz: You are not the center of the universe, Jenna.
Jenna: I am too. I'm the moon.

Liz: Listen Jenna, I didn't mean to steal your thunder.
Jenna: My whole life is thunder.

Oh my goodness, the ceremony will be broadcast on Lifetime, oh dot com, backslash garbage file?

Liz: I'm 42, Cerie.
Cerie: I don't know what that is.

Liz: You know who else was married? Ted Bundy!
Criss: I don't think so Liz.
Liz: Really? He's so handsome.

Liz: His name is Black Dennis? That is racist!
Dennis: Yeah right Liz, the guy with the Black son's racist.

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that pushup last year for nothing!

Deviousness? I guess two can play at that game. Just like most games.

Shut up, Pete. There's no hope. Not for you or for this country. If Joni Mitchell were here, she'd be like, 'The big man won't give peace a chance, the cobblestones, cobblestones.

Liz: How do you sleep at night, Jack?
Jack: I don't. I take thousands of micro-naps during the day.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 400 in total

30 Rock Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Jack: You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!
Jack's Dad: It's pronounced "Don-a-fee," you lace-curtain half-an-Englishman!
Jack: When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you... [raises fists] Well now I'm gonna let "Saint Patrick" and "Saint Michael" DO MY TALKING FOR ME!
Jack's Dad: [raises fists] You'll have to get through "Tip O'Neill" and "Bobby Sands" first!
Eddie Donaghy: You call those fist names?! [raises fists] Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"
Jack: Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.

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