Popular Liz Lemon Quotes
Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.
Tracy: You can be a freaky-deeky and do data entry!
Liz: Sure.
Tracy: Or how about court reporting?
Liz: [crying] I know, i'm not over it and now i'm wearing this. What is the deal with my life!?
Seinfeld: Are you imitating me!?
Liz: No, this is what I sound like when I cry.
Seinfeld: I think I'm a little insulted.
Liz: You're insulted!? I'm crying!?
Liz: Okay, everyone, welcome back. Some of you may be wondering what happened between me and my boyfriend Floyd this summer. The answer is we did break up, but I am doing fine.
Frank: Is Floyd the Black guy?
Jenna: I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday.
Liz: Well, what diet is going to do that?
Jenna: Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so...
Kenneth: Miss Lemon, may I speak with you?
Liz: Sure. Can you walk and talk?
Kenneth: Uh... usually, but now you got me thinking about it.
I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."
Liz: His name's Floyd.
Jack: That's unfortunate.
Jack: Good God. Devon is gay. He's even more powerful than I thought.
Liz: Maybe you should seduce him and get him to tell you all his secret plans.
Tracy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
