Favorite Lucille Quotes
Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?
George Sr.: Hi ... This is not what it looks like ...
Lucille: It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr.: Yep ... Yeah, that's it.
Lucille: Buster, what's going on? What happened to your head?
Buster: Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.
Michael: You were flying today, buddy.
Buster: Yes, I was flying. But a little too close to the sun.
Lucille: You let him go in the sun? (To Buster) Get in the back seat. I'll be right out.
Buster: Front seat, mom. I sit in the front seat now.
Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Buster: Mom ...
George, Sr.: Is that true?
Buster: No. We're taking it slow.
Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist?
Buster: She already has.
Lucille: And I'm putting Buster in charge.
Gob: He's a good choice.
Michael: Buster? The guy who thought that the blue on the map was land?
Gob: And if I'm going to be staying here...
Lucille: Staying here? What, did that Mexican throw you out?
Gob: She's not "that Mexican", Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Anyway, it's over.
Lucille: You've got three days.
Gob: Hey... If I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here.
Lucille: Blow.
(Holds out tissue)
Buster: No, Mother! I can blow myself.
Gob: Where am I? Am I still in prison?
Lucille: You're in the hospital.
Gob: (weakly) Ta-daa ...
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.
Lucille: I've done everything I can. I even tried to convince them he's [Buster] gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.
Michael: Well you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits until he was twelve.
(referring to George Sr.'s specimens) There was 250 CCs of your father in that banana stand!
