Favorite Luke Danes Quotes
Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.
Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.
Rory: What if I'd thrown a pen?
Luke: I would've brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out.
(Jess and Luke are searching for an apartment)
Jess: Forget it!
Luke: Why? What was wrong with it?
Jess: It was pink!
Luke: We can paint it.
Jess: You mean I can paint it.
Luke: We can paint it together.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Fine. Which one did you like?
Jess: The one before.
Luke: The one with the two fridges?
Jess: No.
Luke: Well, the one before was the one with two fridges.
Jess: No, the one we saw before was the one with the cat!
Luke: I hate cats!
Jess: Well, I don't think the cat came with the place.
Luke: Yeah, but it had carpeting which means it's always gonna smell like a cat.
Jess: (shrugs) Clean the carpet.
Luke: Paint the pink.
Jess: Fine. The one next to the bank.
Luke: Nah, too many windows.
Jess: What?
Luke: Six windows, all on one side, three o'clock in the afternoon, we're sittin' in an oven.
Jess: So we get curtains.
Luke: Well, you'd have to help me put them up.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Stop saying that!
(smashes hole in adjoining wall with sledgehammer) That's your room. (hands the sledgehammer to Jess) Finish up. We'll hold hands and skip afterwards.
</i> Luke
Luke: I forgot my toolbox, so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you, and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert, and we'd say, "Good night, Bert," and it'd say, "Good night girls," and--we spend too much time home alone.
Lorelai: I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you're getting tea.
Luke: I had any interesting call today, want to know who it was from?
Jess: Not really.
Luke: It was from Taylor Doose, you know, he owns the market.
Jess: If you say so.
Luke: He said you came in today.
Jess: He did?
Luke: And he said you took some money out of a little donation cup to help repair the bridge. I told him he was crazy, you wouldn't do that, you weren't a thief, that he was just trying to start trouble. Then I hung up on him. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy hanging up on Taylor and he is crazy. But I was just wondering if maybe any of the other things he said were true.
Jess: What do you think?
Luke: I think that if you tell me that what he's saying is not true, I'm gonna believe it.
Jess: Okay, it's not true.
Luke: That doesn't sound very convincing.
Jess: What exactly do you want from me? You bring me here to this place, you put me in a school that says the Pledge of Allegiance in six different languages, two of which I've never heard of before. You take me away from my home, my friends, and now you want what from me?
Luke: I'm trying to help you!
Jess: Well stop trying! Stop following me, stop talking to me, stop asking me questions! Just stop!
Luke: That's what you want?
Jess: Yes.
Luke: That's really what you want?
Jess: Yes!
Luke: You got it.
Jess: Thank you!
Luke: You're welcome!
(As they cross over a bridge, Luke pushes Jess into the water)
Crazy people. The whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping-pong tables and hand puppets.
</i> Luke
Lorelai: Can I ask you stupid questions?
Luke: There's no such thing.
Lorelai: (frustrated) How does the ink come out of pens?!
Luke: Okay, there is such a thing.
Luke: C'mon, you gotta think positive here. Bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns. (slowing down) Clowns. (pause) Little ... cute ... (longer pause) ... furry ... (giving up) Okay, I'm out.
Lorelai: Thank God.
Red meat can kill you. Enjoy.
Tradition is a trap. It allows people to stick their head in the sand. Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn't have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It's a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing.
