Favorite Luke Danes Quotes
(Emily enters the diner)
Lorelai: Eh. Good grief.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Bad vibe sandwich just came in. You better retreat.
Lorelai: Face it, Luke. People like you.
Luke: Shut up.
Lorelai: And with charm like that, how could they resist.
Lorelai: I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you're getting tea.
Tradition is a trap. It allows people to stick their head in the sand. Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn't have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It's a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing.
Luke: C'mon, you gotta think positive here. Bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns. (slowing down) Clowns. (pause) Little ... cute ... (longer pause) ... furry ... (giving up) Okay, I'm out.
Lorelai: Thank God.
(to Jess) You know what people told me when I said you were coming to live here? They told me I was crazy. They told me I should start writing letters to Jodie Foster -- but I ignored them. I was so sure that I knew what I was doing and then you showed up and you know what? You proved them right. I was crazy. Now, after all the havoc and chaos that you have wreaked, you are seriously standing here in a shirt with hands that are flipping me off telling me you want to come back?!
Lorelai: I just flat out panicked about the enormity of what we were getting into and it clobbered me, and I clobbered Sookie, and I was such a jerk. Hey, if I cry, will it freak you out?
Luke: Totally.
Lorelai: What if I whimper?
Luke: How about you suck it up?
Lorelai: Hmm, I'll try.
Luke: I don't get it. You're as ready as you've ever been.
Lorelai: Oh Luke, do not underestimate the complete and total lack of confidence I have in my abilities.
Luke: What? You're the most confident person I know. Obnoxiously so.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Luke: I mean in a good way. You're good at what you do and you know it.
Lorelai: Oh, no, no, no. I'm good at doing what I have to do. When I had to get a job, I got it. When I had to find a house for us and a life for us, I got it. When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it. But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn. I don't have to go into business for myself, I don't have to walk out on that limb and risk everything I've worked for.
Luke: Then do it.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just stay where you are.
Lorelai: What is this, reverse psychology?
Luke: No, just stay at the inn. You're happy there.
Lorelai: Oh, so you think I can't hack it.
Luke: Of course you can hack it.
Lorelai: Great, lip service, that's what I need.
Luke: Hey, if I start to cry, will that freak you out?
Lorelai: Ugh. I couldn't stay where I am if I wanted. Mia is selling the inn. And that hit me hard too, maybe harder than the other thing. I'm gonna be without a home.
Luke: What do you mean? This is your home.
Lorelai: No, I mean a home home. A memory home. The inn is where Rory took her first step. It's where I took my first step. It's more of a home to me more than my parents' house ever was.
Luke: You're just scared. Just like everybody else when they're taking on something big.
Lorelai: Well, then what does everybody else do to get through this feeling?
Luke: They run in the back, throw up, pass out and then smack their head on the floor.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: That's what I did on the first morning I opened the diner. Look, there is no button to push to get you through this. You just gotta jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
Lorelai: How long 'til the diner got fun?
Luke: About a year.
Lorelai: Wow. And there's no button?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: How about a lever, can I pull a lever?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: Turn a knob?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: You just jump?
Luke: You just jump.
Lorelai: I wanna do it.
Luke: You should do it.
Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.
Sookie St. James: Not crying.
Lorelai Gilmore: Crying a little.
Sookie St. James: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
Rory: Thank you, Mom: you are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie St. James: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson Belleville: Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai Gilmore: Not you, too.
Luke Danes: I'm blubbering. You're freaks!
Luke Danes: I need to talk to you.
Lorelai: Come inside.
Luke Danes: No, she - Rory's in there!
Lorelai: Since when are you scared of Rory? Cause seriously, Luke, I think you can take her.
Luke Danes: I just need to tell you something. Can she hear us?
Lorelai: Through the walls? No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles. We're good.
Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus...
Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.
Luke: You have a problem.
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: Junkie.
Lorelai: Angel. You've got wings, baby.
(Lorelai is trying to convince Luke to paint the diner)
Lorelai: Come on. We'll drink a couple beers, we'll sing painting songs!
Luke: Painting songs?
Lorelai: Yeah, painting songs like, um, you know, the song that goes:
Grab your brush and grab your rollers, all you kids and all you bowlers - We're going paintin' today!
Say yes or there's another verse!
Luke: Well, I guess maybe if I had help.
Taylor: Really? Oh my God! That's wonderful! Hurrah!
Luke: Taylor, it's not for you, it's for me.
Taylor: I can't wait to tell the rest of the committee, they're not going to believe this!
Luke: I hate that he's pleased.
Lorelai: Ahh, you'll drop a gum wrapper on the street in front of his store later.
Luke: Yeah, good idea!
