Popular Luke Danes Quotes
Luke: So, Rory was at the game today.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah.
Luke: Yeah, she was with some guy.
Lorelai: Dean.
Luke: No, I know that punk. Some older guy.
Lorelai: Oh. That would have been her dad.
Luke: Really? So he's....
Lorelai: The guy who impregnated me with Rory, yes.
Luke: Yeah. He did a good job.
Lorelai: Impregnating me with Rory?
Luke: Okay, this has taken a very weird turn.
Lorelai: Yeah. (Luke leaves quickly)
Lorelai: I don't know what is wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it.
Luke: It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics who in all probability did not even exist and even if they did probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from a local dance hall prostitute or two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster.
Lorelai:: You are full of hate and loathing and I got tell you, I love it!
Luke: It's so good to have someone to share this hate with.
Lorelai: My pleasure.
Luke: More coffee?
Lorelai: Yeah, please. Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says, "Hey, how's it going?"
Luke: You're on.
(A young woman walks in and greets Luke)
Woman: Hey, how's it going?
Lorelai: Oh, now, that's just too easy.
(Luke turns and sees that it's Rachel standing there)
Luke: Rachel?
Lorelai: (to Luke) Rachel? Your Rachel?
(Lorelai turns around to face her)
Lorelai: You're Rachel?
Rachel: Yep, I'm Rachel.
Rachel: So since we're both being blunt, what's the deal with Lorelai?
Luke: What are you talking about?
Rachel: I'm talking about Lorelai, the lady who runs the inn, the one you've told me absolutely nothing about, and been very careful to leave out of every story, anecdote, or gossip about the town.
Luke: There is no deal with Lorelai. We're friends.
Rachel: For now?
Luke: Yes.
Rachel: And in the future?
Luke: Well, Lorelai is, she's just uhI don't know. I mean, at times it seems like, I don't know.
Lorelai: So, where's Rachel?
Luke: She's a founder's party punch junkie.
Lorelai: God, even the nice girls aren't safe.
(Luke spots Dean outside the diner and walks to him)
Luke: Stop right there.
Dean: What?
Luke: Where are you going?
Dean: To get coffee.
Luke: Wrong.
Dean: Excuse me?
Luke: You're not going in there buddy.
Dean: What are you talking about?
Luke: Turn around bag boy.
Dean: Are you serious?
Luke: Do you see a smile on my face?
Dean: No but what's different about that?
Luke: What's that supposed to mean?
Dean: It's just that you're not exactly known as the town crack up.
Luke: So you're a smart guy now, huh?
Dean: What are you doing?
Luke: Just exercising my right not to serve you.
Lorelai: Oh well, uh, good morning sleeping beauty.
Luke: Yeah, well you know Rachel thought I looked a little tired.
Lorelai: No, it's good. You need a little break.
Luke: I guess.
Lorelai: You do. So she seems pretty comfortable here huh?
Luke: Yeah well she always could just fit in places you know. It's a talent of hers.
Lorelai: She looks good in your apron.
Luke: Yeah well, can I get you anything?
Lorelai: Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go extra heavy on the chocolate?
Luke: Yeah sure, any special occasion?
Lorelai: Dean broke up with Rory.
Luke: What?!
Lorelai: Keep it down, she doesn't want anybody to know about it.
Luke: Oh I knew it, I just knew that kid was trouble.
Lorelai: Yes you did, you knew it. Pancakes please.
Luke: Oh God, he's got a nerve. I mean what does he think he's gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well forget it ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta la vista.
Lorelai: Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please?
Luke: How is she?
Lorelai: She's been dumped by her first boyfriend.
Luke: Oh man, I swear I would love to... ok, I'm gonna put some whipped cream on the pancakes too.
Lorelai: Thank you Luke.
Lorelai: Hey, hey, hey, cut it out! Break it up! You back off! Come here! What do you think you're doing?!
Luke: He started it!
Lorelai: By doing what?
Luke: He was coming in.
Lorelai: Are you a lunatic! He's 16!
Luke: Well what was I supposed to do?!
Lorelai: Well stand in the middle of the street and have a slap fight of course! Come here!
Rory: (to Dean) Are you ok?
Dean: I'm fine.
Rory: Oh good, I don't know what got into Luke. He's usually so -
Dean: I have to go.
Rory: Oh sure, bye.
(Dean leaves, Lorelai grabs Luke as he wants to follow Dean)
Lorelai: Get inside now. Inside - now!
Luke: He started it.
(Luke & Lorelai are in the storage room, talking about Rachel)
Lorelai: Do you wanna know what I think about this situation?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Are you sure?
Luke: Look, if you're gonna tell me at least help me unload.
Lorelai: Can I use the fun cutter thingy?
Luke: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
Lorelai: Please.
Luke: Cut the box, not your hand.
Lorelai: Good tip, you should teach. (She cuts open one box) Ha! Fun!
Luke: Talk.
Lorelai: Well, I don't know exactly what's going on in Rachel's head because I'm not a Vulcan, but from the way she talks about you and the way she smiles when your name comes up, I'm pretty sure that she's serious about staying in Stars Hollow this time.
Luke: Yeah, let me guess. Rachel told you she wanted to put down roots, that she's serious this time, that she's tired of the road, and realizes what's lacking in her nomadic existence.
Lorelai: She didn't use the phrase "nomadic existence", but basically yes, that's what she said.
Luke: I've heard the speech. I know the speech by heart.
Lorelai: Well, I think she means it this time.
Luke: You don't know her like I do.
Lorelai: I don't. But she seems sincere.
Luke: How do you know?
Lorelai: Her nose didn't grow.
Luke: Why are you taking her side?
Lorelai: I'm not taking her side.
Luke: Well it sounds like you're taking her side.
Lorelai: Well, wash out your ears, I'm not taking her side.
Luke: I mean you're practically pushing her on me.
Lorelai: I just want you to be happy.
Luke: And you know what makes me happy?
Lorelai: No, I just know that you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time.
Luke: I have not been carrying a torch for her.
Lorelai: Well, you wanted this to happen.
Luke: How do you know what I wanted to happen?
Lorelai: Didn't you?
Luke: Yeah, I guess.
Lorelai: Okay. So here it is, right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her. Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to.
Luke: Like what?
Lorelai: Like I... I don't know.
Luke: There's no other reason.
Lorelai: Okay, well, fine. Then there's no other reason.
Luke: So what was all about?
Lorelai: Oh nothing. We're just gonna go check out this old inn Rachel found.
Luke: Hmm.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Nothing. I didn't know you guys were friends.
Lorelai: Hm, well we're not really friends. I mean, I don't know her that well. But we're just hanging out. She seems really great.
Luke: Oh yeah, she is. She's great. She's just, you know, a lot different from you.
Lorelai: 'Cause I'm not really great?
Luke: No, you're great. Just in a different way.
Lorelai: In a not really great way?
Luke: That's not what I meant. The two of you are just completely different people. Both great, but I'm just a little surprised that, you know, you're different types of greatness are, you know, melding and you're comfortably great together.
Lorelai: Is this bothering you?
Luke: This conversation, yes.
Lorelai: No. Um, the idea of Rachel and I hanging out together. Is there some reason that's weird for you or something?
Luke: Why would it be?
Lorelai: No reason I can think of.
Luke: Okay, well then it's not weird.
Lorelai: Good, well I was just checking.
Luke: Okay, well then, you checked.
Lorelai: Okay. So are you gonna be pouring that coffee anytime or...
Luke: Oh.
Lorelai: I'm glad it's not weird though because... (Luke spills coffee on the table)... that would be bad.
Luke: Oh, I'll get a rag.
(Luke walks over to Lorelai's table where Rachel is showing a picture she took of them)
Luke: What's that?
Lorelai: Oh, it's a picture of us.
Luke: Us?
Rory: Rachel took it.
Rachel: At the Firelight Festival.
Luke: Oh, sure, yeah. (He hands a plate to Lorelai) So, uh, here's your plate, no eyes.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Rachel: Do you wear contacts?
Lorelai: Me? No.
Rachel: God, you've got amazing eyes. (to Luke) Doesn't she?
Luke: Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess... I mean, they're, you know, placed good... symmetrical. I'm gonna get some more coffee.
Rachel: Yeah.
(in the storage room at Luke's)
Lorelai: So, this is the fascinating storage area where fascinating acts of storage take place.
Luke: Yup, this is it.
Lorelai: Some good looking pickles.
Luke: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I'm admiring your pickles.
Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.
