Lynette: She was pissed when I didn't tell her you might be pregnant. If I don't tell her about this, I'm dead.Julie: Come on, Lynette.
Lynette: I'm serious! She already shot Katherine. Now she's got a taste for blood.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Mrs. McCluskey: Lynette, when you've needed a favor from me, have I ever let you down?
Lynette: Last month we needed a sitter for Penny, but you didn't want to miss Oktoberfest. And just last thursday...
Mrs. McCluskey: Okay, new way in.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lynette: This would be a really good place for you to jump in and tell me I'm not a castrating bitch
Tom: Sure! Just put down the knife first.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tom: So, I still don't get why you fired Roy. I mean, he was putting the bird house where you wanted it, right?
Lynette: It's not about that. He said I emasculate you.
Tom: He said that?
Lynette: Well, not in those words. He went with a more colorful nutcracking analogy.
Tom: He is funny.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lynette: (holding a worldmap) There you go, Gaby. It's kinda old. It's from before the Soviet Union broke up.
Gabrielle: The Soviet Union broke up?
Tom: You sure you know what you're doing with this homeschooling thing?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey, Juanita's in first grade. She'll believe what I tell her.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tom: Remember last time you were pregnant with twins? Every part of you swelled up. It was like sleeping next to a body they dragged out of the river.
Lynette: You said I was beautiful.
Tom: I had to. You were twice my size.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Carlos: You've got some admirers out there.
Lynette: Oh?
Carlos: Yeah, as you walked by, I heard one of them say, "check out the rack on that one."
Lynette: Aw... Can I do the honors and call security?
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Karen: When Roy's spirits are drooping, the problem is global. You get the picture?
Lynette: Getting the picture isn't the problem. It's getting rid of it.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tom: What's that smell?
Lynette: Despair.
Tom: Oh. I thought it was waffles.
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: 5.5 / 10 • Permalink
Annabel: Yes, Tom and I were in love, but he married you. I'm not looking to break up a happy couple... anyway, that's certainly more your speed, isn't it?
Lynette: Watch your step. Tom and I are a team. Our marriage is rock solid. Nothing you ever do will ever break that up.
Annabel: Then why are you down here right now warning me?
• Show: Desperate Housewives • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 29
